Once again...this was inspired by Shannon's friend Tess. lol. I will write about pretty much anything as long as I can think of something to write about. Hey, it beats working!
So this blog is assuming that I am writing a letter to my childhood self.
Hey you. Yeah, you with the blue eyes. No one can figure you out, can they? I know life is serious, but you don't have to take it THAT seriously. I mean, afterall, you won't get out alive.
I know things seem rough right now, but you'll pull through and you will be stronger than ever. That surgery you had sure got you down, but if you can imagine your pain as a white bubble floating away from you, you will heal faster. I know that they all made rumors about you, that no one really stands by you to care, but you are stronger for it. And one day, you will stand up to the world and say HA. I DEFEATED that pain! I saw it, I battled it, and I won. Because no matter what it felt like, you know that you can never feel anything more terrible. Between the actual pain and the indifference and despise that your father placed on you, NOTHING will ever be that painful again.
And he hurt you. I know. I know because the pain ran so deep as to still affect your world. But someday you will learn the power of forgiveness, and how it can be even more powerful than hurt and pain.
Later you will be able to use that. So embrace it now while you still can, because it is only in the worst of situations that you will ever be able to feel your true strength. To stand up to a roaring lion, even though you are a wee mouse. This will be your true strength.
And don't worry over ever fitting in. Because you probably won't. You have a unique perspective on life, just because of how you were raised. Not everyone can say that they grew up by themselves in the middle of nowhere. Your mother tried very hard, but life beat her down and she has her own battles to triumph. You will be a lone wolf, because that is what you know. Embrace it and make the best of it.
Also, don't worry so much about God. She can see you, for she is everywhere, in everything. She is your true mother, mother nature. Just follow what you see and what you know. Don't ever compare your life to anyone else's for you have no idea what their path has been.
All in all, remember to breathe. You came into this world with a gasp of air, and you will leave quite the same. There are only so many breaths one is pertained to have in this life, make the most of it. Your breath IS your life. WIthout which, we would all surely perish within minutes.
If you are open and perceptive to the world, she will be open in return.