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Sunday, January 30, 2011

this life.

For Sariah.

I am the person that I am because of reasons undefined. Perhaps it was the star's alignment of my birth, or perhaps it was the circumstance of my creation. Maybe it was my mother's will or my father's persistence. Perhaps it was ordained out of grief or happiness. Maybe it was because it was. Maybe it was because this was meant to be.

I finally realize how strong I am. It took me long enough. But how else can you derive what you are, except through trial and error. It's a great experiment of youth, in the beginning.
And I realize that I have had values that I had forgotten along the way. But the trick was...that I caught myself before it was too late. Before, I fell into a dimension of searching for someone I wanted to be and lead a life of self destruction and remorse. But why? I finally asked myself.

We can only be shown the doors to our choices. You have to step through by yourself.

I stepped through a door. I couldn't help myself. My family is the most important thing in my life. Everything I am is because of them, and I am grateful.


On Saturday I got to go to a sparring seminar in Reno.
I was nervous. Like I have said before, my ten year hiatus from TKD left me a little rusty. Especially in sparring.
Wilbur had a good run on me a few days before, and the 15 year old punk got me good. A flying reverse double side kick to my gutt. Ouch. So of course I was a little irritated too. I have since made it my mission in life to beat this kid at sparring.

So I went. It was awesome. I got such a workout, plus now I feel a little more confident in my fakeout reverse side kick (WOO it's cool!). PLUS I learned a new kick. A spiral kick. Yeah. That's right. It's bad.

So where was I going with this? That's right...
CONFIDENCE. It's an inner peace worth accepting.

That's all I have for now. Back to napping on this dreary Sunday..

Saturday, January 15, 2011

a few words

(from freewillastrology.com)

Mirabilia Report

(Mirabilia n. events that inspire wonder, marvelous phenomena, small miracles, beguiling ephemera, inexplicable joys, changes that inspire quiet awe, eccentric enchantments, unplanned jubilations, sudden deliverance from boring evils; from the Latin mirabilia, "marvels.")

* The National Center for Atmospheric Research reports that the average cloud is the same weight as 100 elephants.

* The seeds of some trees are so tightly compacted within their protective covering that only the intense heat of a forest fire can free them, allowing them to sprout.

* Thirty-eight percent of North America is wilderness.

* Anthropologists say that in every culture in history, children have played the game hide and seek.

* With every dawn, when first light penetrates the sea, many seahorse colonies perform a dance to the sun.

* A seven-year-old Minnesota boy received patent number 6,368,227 for a new method of swinging on a swing.

* As it thrusts itself into our Milky Way Galaxy, the dwarf galaxy Sagittarius is unraveling, releasing a thick stream of dark matter that is flowing right through the Earth.

* A chemist in Australia finally succeeded in mixing oil and water.

* Except among birds and land mammals, the females of most species are bigger than the males.

* The South African version of TV's Sesame Street has an AIDS-positive Muppet named Kami.

* The sky not only isn't falling--it's rising. The top of the troposphere, the atmosphere's lowest layer, is slowly ascending.

* To make a pound of honey, bees have to gather nectar from about two million flowers. To produce a single pound of the spice saffron, humans have to handpick and process 80,000 flowers. In delivering the single survivor necessary to fertilize an ovum, a man releases 500 million sperm.

* Some Christians really do love their enemies, as Jesus recommended.

* Kind people are more likely than mean people to yawn when someone near them does.

* There are always so many fragments of spider legs floating in the air that you are constantly inhaling them wherever you go.

* "The average river requires a million years to move a grain of sand 100 miles," says science writer James Trefil.

* Because half of the world's vanilla crop is grown in Madagascar, the whole island smells like vanilla ice cream.

* Your body contains so much iron that you could make a spike out of it, and that spike would be strong enough to hold you up.

* In his book *The Physics of Immortality: Modern Cosmology, God and the Resurrection of the Dead,* physicist Frank J. Tipler offers what he says is scientific proof that every human being who has ever lived will be resurrected from the dead at the end of time.

* In the Ukraine you can buy Fat in Chocolate, a food with a layer of dark chocolate covering a chunk of pork fat.

* Robust singing skill is correlated with a strong immune system in songbirds. Male birds with the most extensive repertoire of tunes also have the largest spleens, a key measure of immune system health.

* Bali has 80,000 temples.

* Romanian physicists created gaseous globes of plasma that grew, reproduced, and communicated with each other, thereby fulfilling the definition for life.

* In an apparent attempt to raise their volume above the prevailing human din, some nightingales in big cities have learned to unleash 95-decibel songs, matching the loudness of a chainsaw.

* There is a statistically significant probability of world-class athletes and military leaders being born when Mars is rising in the sky.

* Some piranhas are vegetarians.

* In the pueblos of New Mexico, bricks still measure 33 by 15 by 10 centimeters, proportions that almost exactly match those of the bricks used to build Egypt's Temple of Hatshepsut 3,500 years ago.

* Childbirth is often joyful even though it's painful.

* In hopes of calming flustered lawbreakers, Japanese cops have substituted the sound of church bells for sirens on police cars.

* Scientists believe they'll be able to figure out why cancer cells are virtually immortal, and then apply the secret to keeping normal cells alive much longer, thereby dramatically expanding the human life span.

* Clown fish can alter their gender as their social status rises.

* When she is born, a baby girl has all the ova she will ever have.

* Bluebirds cannot see the color blue.

* Gregorian chants can cure dyslexia.

* Bob Hope donated half a million jokes to the Library of Congress.

* Bees perform a valuable service for the flowers from which they steal.
* "Leafing through Forbes or Fortune [magazine]s is like reading the operating manual of a strangely sanctimonious pirate ship," wrote Adam Gopnik in *The New Yorker.*

* Revlon makes 177 different shades of lipstick.

* Your tongue is the strongest muscle in your body.

* The most frequently shoplifted book in America is the Bible.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

letters to a boy

Once again...this was inspired by Shannon's friend Tess. lol. I will write about pretty much anything as long as I can think of something to write about. Hey, it beats working!

So this blog is assuming that I am writing a letter to my childhood self.

Hey you. Yeah, you with the blue eyes. No one can figure you out, can they? I know life is serious, but you don't have to take it THAT seriously. I mean, afterall, you won't get out alive.

I know things seem rough right now, but you'll pull through and you will be stronger than ever. That surgery you had sure got you down, but if you can imagine your pain as a white bubble floating away from you, you will heal faster. I know that they all made rumors about you, that no one really stands by you to care, but you are stronger for it. And one day, you will stand up to the world and say HA. I DEFEATED that pain! I saw it, I battled it, and I won. Because no matter what it felt like, you know that you can never feel anything more terrible. Between the actual pain and the indifference and despise that your father placed on you, NOTHING will ever be that painful again.

And he hurt you. I know. I know because the pain ran so deep as to still affect your world. But someday you will learn the power of forgiveness, and how it can be even more powerful than hurt and pain.

Later you will be able to use that. So embrace it now while you still can, because it is only in the worst of situations that you will ever be able to feel your true strength. To stand up to a roaring lion, even though you are a wee mouse. This will be your true strength.

And don't worry over ever fitting in. Because you probably won't. You have a unique perspective on life, just because of how you were raised. Not everyone can say that they grew up by themselves in the middle of nowhere. Your mother tried very hard, but life beat her down and she has her own battles to triumph. You will be a lone wolf, because that is what you know. Embrace it and make the best of it.

Also, don't worry so much about God. She can see you, for she is everywhere, in everything. She is your true mother, mother nature. Just follow what you see and what you know. Don't ever compare your life to anyone else's for you have no idea what their path has been.

All in all, remember to breathe. You came into this world with a gasp of air, and you will leave quite the same. There are only so many breaths one is pertained to have in this life, make the most of it. Your breath IS your life. WIthout which, we would all surely perish within minutes.

If you are open and perceptive to the world, she will be open in return.

:)

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

blame it on Angel

So, a lawyer decided that he needs help on his next case because he is not quite prepared to face the Powers that Be on the killing on 3 blind children. Maybe it is guilt, or maybe it is his conscious, but he goes to our hero Angel for help.

Now Angel is not perfect, in fact he is a vampire with a soul (a rare breed) and he is skeptical over our lawyer. After all...why should he help someone who normally works against him, who's boss is evil through and through- when he is working for good.

So the lawyer says, "You think you know me, do you? Do you know what it's like to grow up poor, with 6 brothers and sisters and watch helplessly as your father sells your house and you are homeless? There are two types of people in this world, Angel. Those who get stepped on, and those who do the stepping. I swore I would never be like my father, so I did the stepping."

Angel wakes up, "Oh I'm sorry. I must have nodded off. Did you get to the part where you are evil?"



lol. ...

In the end, Angel ends up helping him, and the lawyer screws him over. (saw that coming!) Because the lawyer had a choice to make, whether it was for the good or for the evil. In the end, evil won. Angel was dissapointed, but the children were saved.


WOW get back to work jessie!

Monday, January 10, 2011

new work computer!

Yay! Fully loaded with all the bells and whistles. 4 MB + 3.2 Ghz processor, Win 7 Ultimate and Microsoft Office 2010 .... WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Only...I have been uploading, saving, storing, checking and receiving allllll day. lol. And to put ArcGIS 10 on, I have to go back to the old computer, remove it from the desktop, then re-install starting with 9.0, then 9.1-9.3 and then FINALLY 10. ugh. That's like 20 or so information packed data transforming cds. WOAH MAN! hold on!

AND I have to learn the latest AutoCad Civil 3D... my head hurts just thinking a about it. At least the helpdesk is free...

Let's seeeee...what else. I'm still pretty sick. I'm sure everyone is just loving to be around me...spreading mah germs and what nots.

PS Windows 7 is the bees knees :)

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

tornado kick!




HTMLzzz

So I am on a new mission before school starts to learn everything I can about HTML coding. I have to create a web page for my company...so my blog may be rather strange for awhile in my experimentation process. I'll let my fans (yea you 2 are the best!) know when it's done so yall can oogle at this coded masterpiece (HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA! :P)


p.s. Something cool happened to me yesterday. When I went to TKD, my old instructor was teaching. He even had a present for me! Turns out that when I was studying for my black belt before, my mom had paid him to put a UTF (universal tae kwon do federation) patch on my uniform. He did it, and he kept it all these years that I was not in TKD on the hope that I would one day come back. It nearly made me cry when he gave it to me. And it still fit! :) pics to come.

oh wait Im supposed to be working!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

What IS a claimstaker anyways?

For those of you who are curious, and for those of you who don't know, I made this blog for you. A claimstaker is a rare breed nowadays, most often confused with prospectors, miners, surveyors, mountain men and crazy folks (yep it's true! you have to be crazy to love this work).

If you have ever heard the term to "stake a claim", it probably has roots in this profession. Basically, it is a branch of surveying that none of the registered surveyors would want to do in their right mind. Let me explain.

So when a mine first starts up, what they have to do is get some guy (mostly geologists) that says, "Hey! I think there is gold here!" And then some investors turn their head, thinking to themselves, "Wow. If that hits gold, we'll be rich guys!", so they gather a bunch of money (and hopefully a few other players) and they go out and look to a landman to see where the property rights stand (among other things). The landman then hires on a claimstaker to go out there and claim the land for them with a bunch of 2X2 posts and location monuments.

We use (and have used) sweat off our brow, 4-wheelers, donkeys, mules, grit and determination to go to the most random locations and to state these claims. We build maps to run off of, we survey with fancy GPS units and hoof it until we finish the jobs. Sometimes we are rushing against competitors in the same area. Sometimes it rains, sometimes it snows. Most times it's windy. In the summer, the sun beats you down. But every once and awhile, you climb that perfect mountain, on that perfect day, and find god in your work.

We haven't gone without criticism for our job. But I've never been so close to nature as when I run lines with my dad. It's hard work, but it's liberating.

animal totem

A friend of a friend posted something about animal totems, and I feel obligated to respond.

First, if anyone has not read Clan of the Cave Bear, I highly recommend it. The book has a strong reverence to all things nature, and digs deep into humanity as a whole and personal strength. To me, it was a first eye opening experience to the symbolism of animal spirits within ourselves.

I once knew this person who was a raven. For all that is good about that statement, and for all that is bad, this person was. A raven in mythology has many meanings. They are sleek, black, mysterious and cunning. Some consider it good, however, there are many other translations. It is also a carrion and a harbinger. It surrounds the dead and eats the flesh. A raven is a messenger and an omen. But a raven also is in essence a reality. This raven in particular helped me to realize my sign, as well as the signs of the people around me.

Everyone I know is really an animal underneath it all. Strip the clothes and the flesh and all that remains is an essence of character. Animals are character. We are animals.

Another animal that had an influence on me was a burrowing owl. She was beautiful, and my time spent with her was not long enough. She knew enough about the world to observe it, but to not take it too seriously. She was flexible in her manner and accurate in her attempts. She worked hard, still does in fact. And the love she has for her family was one to be admired.

I also know a few horses. They amble around with the highest curiosities for life. They love to travel and play in the sun. I have a sincere love for all horses, and I hold these people close to my heart.

My mother is a Rooster. My sister is an Ox. My father is another Horse. This is pure Chinese astrology, but its symbolism works as well.

Myself, I am a snow leopard. How arrogant that must seem, but I can not for the life of me think as to what else I would be. I am, after all, an Aries Tiger, but that in itself is not enough. I have an Aquarius moon and a Libra rising.

Hocus pocus, some may think, but this too is a lie. If you have never had your charts read, you should do it. The moon sign is how you perceive yourself, the rising sign is how the world perceives you, and the sun sign (the one you probably know)is just general characteristics you may have (though it may not be enough to formulate an entire picture).

As for the snow leopard part. Well. There aren't very many of us, and you wouldn't catch anyone else running around on the mountains like we do. Chances are that you have never seen one, but they have probably seen you. You would be surprised.


Oh, and Happy New Year everyone! It's 2011! Now what?