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Monday, November 29, 2010

as the snow falls

Im doing this one for my friends.

It was the week before thanksgiving when the snow came. I was leaving Tae Kwon Do when one of my classmates realized it was going to hit. "Didn't you know that it was coming?" I said. "No, don't say that!" Oh but I did! And it came. It sure came.

Life is like that. One minute it is one way, the next, well who knows where you will be. I have friends come...friends gone, and all that is remembered is some resemblance of a better time. Some memory, however strong or weak, cold or hot, significant or seemingly insignificant had some and passed in this weary drudge called life. But somehow, for some unknown cause, these people are more than a memory, even if you would rather not. These people were the garden that you were planted in, to blossom and support, feed and grow.
I guess you could probably tell by now that I have been doing some meditating. It's true. These past 6 years I have grown into this person that may finally start to be called a woman. And in all of that time, I have learned only one thing. That we are more than the sum of all of our parts, yet we are most likely less than the dirt we walk on.
And the snow falls.
New leaves turn, and old ones float past my doorstop.
At dusk, the warmth is snatched from my breath and the light is left on. So I go over to investigate and therein lay the most beautiful sight I have seen in awhile. A blackness behind, with gentle curls of snow falling against the yellow flood light. A rabbit hopping with ice on his whiskers and a dog keenly yipping at the shallow moon. One second in time. Less than a breath in, with a slow release. I closed my eyes. It is ok. Everything is ok. Life is still beautiful, you just have to keep remembering her. And she will remember you.

Sometimes I get questions like, "oh what's your religion?" or, "are you a person of faith?" And every time, I answer yes. I deeply believe in the power of religion. My god, however, is in these Nevada skies. It's in the Redwood forest, and on top Los Platos mountains. It's in the neighbor's hawk, or the tenants cockatoo. It's a rock, it's your table, it's your napkins and spoons. It is life, and she doesn't always pay attention to you. You must listen for her to speak, and then you must open the door youeself.

Of course this is coming from a crazy person who loves nothing better than hanging out with my animals. lol. Ahhhhh I can feel all of the neighborhood children not knowing what to think of me already. And you know what. I'm cool with that. For once, I just want to send hope and positive thought to everyone else. I hope you all to some peace of mind. And know, that life is always flowing.

1 comment:

  1. You are so eloquent J - My memories of our time together are such a part of my existence, and yet now we are so far apart. Life leads us so many directions we never planned on going...